We ran away, now all my friends are gone,Maybe we’ve outgrown all the things that we once loved

Sometimes Life is funny, well not really funny, but if i don't laugh then im prone to cry, and it's not pretty when a grown man cries. Ok so maybe i wouldn't cry, but i might go off the deep end, if i haven't already? Just when i thought i was getting ahead, making things happen, and things were going seemingly well, you know a step forward in life... BAM! 2 steps right back. It's hard being optomistic when things are going wrong, but i guess those are the defining moments in life right? What we do in the face of adversity defines who we are, in a way. It's hard though, adversity isin't fun, and were supposed to be strong, and push through but sometimes i just want to give up. Im not always strong, (I know this may shock some of you) what if, try as I may, i just dont make it? What then? When is the point where we decide weather or not we need to push on, or give up? And what if we just need to give up? I found this quote when i was googling random quotes to try and help put words to my feelings; "Most things break, including hearts. The lessons of life amount not to wisdom, but to scar tissue and callus." When i read this, It made a lot of sense. Things that we learn from (not all) but things we really learn from, often take a piece of us. We learn our lesson, we love another person hard, and it fails, we pay the price, that person gets a piece of us we never get back. We put our heart and soul into something and it fails, it takes a piece of us. We have a friendship that means the world to us, and something just doesn't go right along the way, another piece gone. Each leaving a little scar, each experience hardening us a little bit more, Yes we learned from it, but not without some type of dividen paid. I bought a journal in hopes of being able to use it, but I found i don't like too. I have these thoughts and feelings that normally i would just bottle up and let build up till they all come out and i have a bad day/week. My plan was to write them down and maybe get it off my chest, but i really don't like being alone with my own thoughts sometimes, so I really havn't taken advantage of my journal. On a lighter note, I went on a ride along Saturday with my friend Brad. It was awesome, i seriously can't wait to be a cop. I saw dirty rednecks almost get tazed, and then get arrested for brawling, people who drive crappy and get pulled over, people who get pulled over for some ridiculous reason (usually my fault because i would be like "hey that guy did that, can we pull him over?") And then some guy tried to throw his weed in his neighbors yard after beating his wife, got taken to the slammer. We ( Brad, myself, and like 6 other cops) sat at starbucks for like 45 minutes just talking, we stopped for 2 dinners, a delicious energy drink etc... The best part of the night though for sure, was driving really fast through the streets with the lights and sirens on.