I have learned...

that the reason i have accomplished nothing in my life is I'm afraid of missing out on things. I try to do everything, and i get scared that by choosing one path, i close the door on another. I never devote myself to anything entirely because if it fails, then i wasted my time on that and missed out on something else. I know in life we have to make decisions, but i don't like it. My problem is i wait to long, and the decisions happen, instead of me choosing I'm forced to adapt instead of being pro-active and creating change that I want for myself. I am so focused on trying to keep things the same, comfortable, that i miss out on life itself. I want to be friends with everyone, have relationships with everyone, do everything, and experience every aspect of life. I'm so afraid to just get a direction in life, that i get overwhelmed with the feeling that i will never accomplish anything and be stuck at a crappy job, with fair-weather friends, a sub par life and ultimately die cold and alone... I'm 20... i should not feel like that at all. But all i can do is seem to focus on the negative things that i messed up on in life as apposed to all the good things that have come out of the situations i have been, and currently am in. The worst part of all is that i recognize this problem, but have no idea how to fix it. Dang.